Keep on, with the force don’t stop.

Don’t stop ’til you get enough” – Michael Jackson

This is post #28 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Determination: having strong motivation to succeed. Determination is something that many lack. It’s the absence of excuses or stories. It’s the will to complete our journey. It is what drives many of us to live to our fullest potential and yet, so many of us don’t have it. Or do we?

Yesterday I wrote about everybody already having everything they need to be successful within them. Determination is no exception. Take a second to think about something that you really wanted in your life and that you did eventually get. Not necessarily a material object although that is just as useful an example, but rather a specific outcome that you wanted to see happen in your future. How did you get there? Was it by wishing really hard? Maybe you hoped it into existence? Maybe you waited it out because “if it’s meant to happen then it will”. Actually, weather you realize it or not, you made it happen through your determination. It is indeed something we all possess. I’ve heard people talk about someone else’s lack of determination before and it kind of chafes my knickers when they do. Often times others will mistake not being motivated with not being determined when the former is really the case. Most people have an abundance of determination, they’re just really selective on how to use it.

If you’re one of those people, good for you. Truly dedicating yourself to something is a big deal and you should be selective… to a point. You don’t want to be so selective about what you’re willing to strive for that you end up doing nothing. That’s one of the things to watch out for in having higher standards of living. You can easily fall into the trap of not making a move because you feel that none of the moves available ore good enough. While this may be the case from time to time, it’s not a plausible excuse for remaining stationary.

When it seems like the options aren’t cutting it, make new options. If you really want something and are determined to get it, you will find a way not only to achieve your goals, but to achieve them on your own terms. Dedicating yourself to a better way of living means never loosing site of your goal, never lowering your standards and never quitting until you’ve reached it. Determination is just what the word indicates it’s the removal of a termination. The lack of an end. Don’t let anything stop you in your quest for greatness. Be determined to see your life lived the way you always dreamed it could be. Just remember that you won’t get there just by dreaming about it. You’ve got to move and once you do, don’t stop.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
By: Michael Jackson
Available on:

“Misery loves company but she will never foot the bill” –  Bourgeois Tagg

This is post # 23 in my quest for 30 in 30.

There is a lot of pain, heartache, and unhappiness on the planet these days. With homelessness and famine, a tanking economy and surging violence it’s a wonder that anyone can have a positive outlook. Still, there are those who continue to find happiness despite all of the negativity swirling around. One of the keys to your own happiness is to bring more positive influences into your life.

In hard times it’s easy to dwell on all the things that are wrong with the world. In fact, it can seem easier at times to do so than to look for solutions.  Keeping a positive mindset in the midst of all the negativity is not always an easy thing. You’ve got media outlets that are all determined to show you all of the bad things in the world and who sensationalize violence and crime and war. There are gangster rappers and death metal bands who perpetuate their messages of hate through their music. There are medical corporations who create and spread diseases in order to create demand for cures. There is no shortage of man made problems in the world today and nobody seems to want to take responsibility for any of it. Fingers are pointed in every direction and it becomes impossible to know who to trust.

For those of us who remain optimistic and try to find the good in all people it can get pretty lonely. Since true happiness is such a rare commodity these days, when someone actually has it there is no shortage of people who want to try and take it from them. The world needs the promise of better days. Anyone who tells you differently or who tries to bring you down with their negative outlook is doing one of two things. They are either issuing a subtle cry for help or they are trying to keep you down on their level so that they don’t have to raise up to yours.  The thing to remember though is that by breaking ranks and holding the line on positive thinking you are serving more than just yourself. You serve as an example of the good life that can be lived through positive thinking. Being of service to others and helping those who have lost their way along the path is essential to turning the world around.

The Three Musketeers were known for their creed of “All for one and one for all”. Granted these were fictional characters and by “all” they meant each other but I think the message is a good one that we need to adopt more of in todays society. If we all dedicate ourselves to being positive and giving everything we’ve got in the service of anyone who needs us we will all get through the tough times together. By lifting up our neighbors we are lifting up ourselves.

Take time today to give a little. Not because you have to but because the best way to help yourself is to help someone else.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Todays Music: I Don’t Mind At All
by: Bourgeois Tagg
Available on :

“I’m talking about forgiveness” – Leona Lewis

This is post 21 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Guilt, pain, anger and shame. All very powerful negative emotions that tend to carry a lot of weight. Any one of these four feelings can completely dominate a persons life if not kept in check. At times we live our lives with a  poisonous combination in which some or all of these can be working together creating a deadly cocktail that becomes a never ending cycle. The burden created by these emotions is one that we carry begrudgingly yet can’t seem to put down. Still, relief comes in the simplest of forms. One action can relieve us of all of these feelings that we carry and that’s the act of forgiveness.

There are several ways that forgiveness can enter into our lives. Much of this depends on what we’re feeling and why. Guilt and shame typically involve a need for forgiveness from others while pain and anger usually require us to give more than get. Regardless, forgiveness is not always the easiest thing to attain. Getting forgiveness from someone else can seem like one of e scariest things in to try and get. It’s so scary in fact that we often times are scared to even think of asking for it. That’s because when you ask for forgiveness, there’s always a chance that you might not get it. Often times the mere thought of not getting the forgiveness we seek is enough to keep us from even trying. It’s like we’d rather carry our burdens indefinitely rather than take the risk. Living with guilt can be devastating to a life though. It can control your every future move. You may not feel worthy of any future success in your life because of the guilt or shame that you’re living with. Seeking forgiveness is the  solution to ending these feelings. When you confront your past demons with a sense of determination and humility and you receive the forgiveness that you seek it lifts a weight from you that can be such a powerful release that you see your entire life differently. You are once again “worthy” of having success in your life and nothing can stop you.

Equally debilitating can be the emotions of pain and anger. The solution to these feelings however is the same, forgiveness. The difference is, it’s usually you that has to give it. Going through your life feeling wounded and hurt because of something someone said or did to you is hard. Letting go of those feelings is even harder. I recently wrote about the dangers of having clutter in your life and nothing clutters up your mind like negativity. So as much as you may feel like you do, pain and anger are definitely on the list of things you don’t need  and the sooner you shed them the sooner you’ll feel the grip that they have on you loosen.  Pain and anger serve no purpose in your life and only work to limit you and your future.

So you can seek forgiveness from those you feel you’ve wronged and you can give it to those who’ve done wrong by you. That will take care of probably about 85% of any limiting emotions. The final step to get that last 15% is to be willing to forgive yourself. This one isn’t easy since we’re always our own harshest critics. Plus, guilt, pain, anger and shame have a tenedncy to feed off of each other and just keep spiraling out of control but once you remove these negative emotions you make room for so much more positive energy in your life. The more positive energy and emotion you have the better you are to yourself and to others.

Freeing yourself of all of this doesn’t mean that it’s not going to pop up again. When it does though, you’ll have a much better understanding of what life can be like without all the negativity. That makes it a lot easier to live without it all together. When these feelings arise again just remember to keep a good supply of forgiveness on hand and to keep the positive energy flowing.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: Forgiveness
By: Leona Lewis
Available on:

“I have become comfortably numb” – Pink Floyd

This is post #17 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Yesterday I wrote about attending a lecture given by raw food athlete Tim VanOrden. During the lecture he spoke about peoples desire to “numb themselves down” with food and alcohol.

We’ve all been there and we’ve all done it. I know that I do it more often than I’d like. We have a really tough day or go through a stressful experience and when we get home we eat a lot of fatty foods or have a few drinks to make the stress of the day disappear. This essentially numbs our brains so that we don’t have to think too much about what is going on in our lives at the moment. At least, that’s the effect we’re going for whether we realize it or not. It’s why stress eaters eat and drinkers drink or in extreme cases why the really really depressed tend to not even bother getting out of bed. There is an aversion to being in the “real world” and dealing with any of the problems that exist in it.

One of the things that take some getting used to when you start living your life according to a higher standard is just how real the real world can be. This is not a bad thing that is to be avoided or numbed out however. Actually, just the contrary. The real world is very real, very alive and very amazing. The real world offers solutions to any perceived problem that you could encounter and for the record, that’s all problems are… perceived. (Check out this great article on the reality of our “problems” by Craig Wildenradt at bloomverse.com). When you have high standards of living you are able to see your way through any problem because often times nothing but the best solution is an option for you. You simply won’t accept anything less. When your life is about choosing to be the best, you have no need to avoid it if it’s less than perfect. You want to be as aware of what’s going on around you as possible. You want to take on the challenges of your life head on.

One thing to always be aware of is that you are the only one who controls your life. You and no one else. Numbing yourself doesn’t make the problems disappear. It simply makes you less willing to care about them for a short period of time. When that time is up though, the problem is still going to be there. In fact, it’s probably going to have grown a little while you were gone. The big bad things we call problems don’t numb themselves. they don’t take breaks and they don’t do anything to avoid you like you avoid them. They’re like zombies that just keep coming. They’re numbers keep growing and they just get hungrier. The only way to handle a zombie is to take off it’s head. Remove the head and the rest just falls. This is the best tactic for taking on life too. You want to attack it. You want to find anything that you think is a problem and take off it’s head before it has a chance to hurt you. Problems, like zombies, tend to multiply if left alone for too long. That’s why you want to deal with them while they’re small and their numbers are few. You just can’t do that if you’re checking out at the end of the day or avoiding your life all together. If you want to live the best life you possibly can you need to do just that, LIVE. Look for those problems and cut of their heads while it’s still early.

In Tim VanOrden’s lecture he talked about his response to a situation that any of us who eat alternatively to the Standard American Diet (SAD) deal with. Friends invite you to go to the bar for a drink and to get some food. You don’t drink though and you don’t eat anything that they do or that the bar serves. When you decline, 9 times out of 10 you’re going to hear “C’mon, live a little”. I’ve heard it myself more times than I can remember. Tim had one of the best responses I’ve ever heard and that I’ll be adopting from here on out for this situation. He simply says “If you want to live a little, then go ahead but I want to live a lot”. Those zombie like problems are just going to keep getting stronger and hiding from life won’t make them go away. It’s only going to get worse if you try to hide. So live… a lot. Attack your problems before they multiply and remember to aim for the head.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: Comfortably Numb
By: Pink Floyd
Available on:

“We are the people in your neighborhood” – Sesame Street Gang

It’s hump day! This is post #15 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of having your own standards so that you aren’t doomed to live by someone else’s. Well, what do you do when your standards are set but they clash with the other people in your life? There are many factors to be considered when assessing your relationships with other people. Who are they to you? How long have you known them? Is there any differences of opinion? What do they bring to your table? The answers to these questions all contribute to how you’re going to interact with this person going forward so it’s a good idea to take an honest look at the people in your life. I’ve said before that it’s important to set your standards high and to never compromise. Well, this is one of the hardest areas to do that in. There are different people in your life for different reasons. Some you have to get along with and others you don’t. Let’s take a look at some of the people you may encounter and some of the ways to deal with the one’s who don’t necessarily fit well.

The lifer.
This is a friend that you have known since you were children. You’ve been through much together in your lives. The two of you are always there for one another and you support each other even if you don’t always agree with one another. You know you have each other’s backs.

The Consistent.
This is a friend that, while you haven’t known them forever, is pretty integrated into your life. You are always in touch and you know what’s up in each others lives. You look out for one another and consider each other to be trusted friends.

The Work Pal.
This might be someone that you see every day at work but don’t really have any interaction outside of the 9 to 5. You like each other and usually help each other to get through the day.

The “What’s your name again?”.
This is someone you may run into from time to time. Maybe you live in the same neighborhood and often cross paths in the grocery store. Or, maybe your kids go to the same school and you’ve had idle chit chat but nothing of significance.

The Stranger.
Not just a really good Billy Joel song, the name stranger kind of speaks for its self. You may be in line in the store or might be at the same party. This is someone you have no connection to but are forced into a social situation regardless.

These are just examples of the relationships you may have with various people in your day to day life. Now what happens when the personalities of the people on this list clash with the standards you’ve set for yourself? There are several ways to handle this type of scenario and for the most part which one you use will vary from person to person. The following list is of possible approaches to ending your differences.

Express Yourself.
This involves letting the “offending” parties know that you don’t agree with what they’re saying or doing. It’s as simple as that. You don’t like it and you’re not going to sit idly by without at least speaking your mind.
This is a good tactic to use with: The Lifer, The Consistent and The Work Pal. Depending on your level of involvement with The “What’s your name again?” you may be able to use it there too. The thing to remember with that one is that you may not know them well enough to give your opinion of them without offending them.

Strictly Business.
This tactic is all about limiting your interaction with those you don’t agree with. In some cases you might not be able to avoid contact with them and speaking your mind is going to strain the relationship making it awkward. This is the route to take with these people.
Use this strategy with: The Work Pal and The “What’s your name again?”.

Dodge Ball.
Sometime it’s hard to accept people for who they are. When this is the case try to avoid them. If you don’t absolutely have to be around them then find a way to not be.
Effective with: The Work Pal and The “What’s your name again?” and The Stranger.

Cut ‘Em Off.
Some times there is just no way to work with certain people around you. The two of you just do not agree or there is absolutely no need for you to interact. In this case it’s best just to work them out of the picture all together.
Best used with: The Stranger and if absolutely necessary, The “What’s your name again?”.

At times it can be hard to figure out just which tactic to use with some of the people in your life. Usually the people who are closest to you get the most consideration but sometimes you have to really assess the relationship and answer some of those tougher questions. Especially the question of “What do they bring to your table?”. Since having higher standards is all about living the life you want to live it’s important that the people you surround yourself with are contributing to that end.

The one area that this article doesn’t cover is how to interact with those people that you have no choice but to have in your life, your family. I think that’s a whole other topic in itself and I’ll write about it soon.

On a final note, I had a friend that had an absolute refusal to have anyone who wasn’t nice in her life. If you were mean to her, anyone she knew or even if she saw that you were unkind to someone on the street, you had no place in her world what so ever. There was no compromising this point with her. The friends she did have were still many and we all loved and respected her completely because we knew what she believed and that she wouldn’t accept anything less. She was an inspiration in that respect.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: People In Your Neighborhood
by: Sesame Street Chorus
Available on:

“Hold your own, know your name and go your own way” – Jason Mraz

This is post # 14 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Setting high standards for yourself is about no longer compromising your own best interests in order to serve another’s agenda. In fact, I’ve often said that if you fail to live by your own standards you are doomed to live by someone else’s.

Living by someone else’s standards is a poor way to live.  For starters, no one else is ever going to have your best interests at heart 100% of the time. Anyone who tells you they aren’t is either not telling you the truth or not in touch with reality. The truth is, there is only one person who is going to look out for you all the time and that’s you. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that one’s standards is a very personal thing. If you live solely by what someone else standards then you’re living in a way that best serves them and not you.

I once worked for one of the most inflexible people I’ve ever met. He owned a shop in Chicago and was extremely particular about how things were done in his place.  I was not a happy person while working for him but was he to be faulted for making me so miserable day in and day out? At the time I blamed him completely for my unhappiness but really, I wasn’t unhappy because of him.  I realized later that it was because I was trying to work according to the standards that he set which were often at odds with my own. It was his shop and he had every right for it to be run the way he wanted. I could have quit any time. I could have left and went to work for someone who’s standards and ideals were more in line with my own but at the time my standards hadn’t been really solidified yet. Though I wasn’t fully aware of it then, it was my own lack of standards that was making me unhappy. Had I been firm in what I believed and stood for I would have left soon after realizing that we didn’t fit and spared myself over a year and a half of anguish.

Setting our own standards and being resolute in accepting nothing less is the only way to ensure that you are living your life in a way that serves you well. Fail to do this and you are at the mercy of what everyone else sees as your place in the world. I can guarantee that no one else can see or seize your future as well as you can.

Thank for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.

-JB

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Today’s Music: Details in the Fabric

by: Jason Mraz

Available on:

“Nothing can hold you back when you’re not holding back a thing”. – Atreyu

This is post #13 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Ninjas have become quite the the popular guys lately. Everybody is making ninja references in their writings and admittedly, I’ve made ninja references myself in a recent post. There’s even a new blockbuster coming out about a Ninja this month. They have seemingly taken on the roll of hero in a lot of minds. But the ninja are really nothing more than samurai with lower standards.

It’s my personal feeling that a part of ones standards should include a code that they live by. For myself, I have adopted the way of the samurai known as Bushido as my code. I do my best to emulate this way of living in my day to day. It, like my standards helps to guide me through my life and helps me when faced with challenges. The principles  of Bushido may have been the code of an ancient warrior class but they are quite relevant in today’s society. If more people lived by this code the world might be a better place.

Here are the seven principals of Bushido.

Honesty & Justice 義
Be acutely honest throughout your dealings with all people. Believe in justice, not from other people, but from yourself. To the true Samurai, there are no shades of gray in the question of honesty & justice. There is only right and wrong.

Polite Courtesy　礼
Samurai have no reason to be cruel. They do not need to prove their strength. A Samurai is courteous even to his enemies. Without this outward show of respect, we are nothing more than animals.

Heroic Courage　勇
Rise up above the masses of people who are afraid to act. Hiding like a turtle in a shell is not living at all. A Samurai must have heroic courage. It is absolutely risky. It is dangerous. It is living life completely, fully, wonderfully. Heroic courage is not blind. It is intelligent & strong.

Honor　名誉
A true Samurai has only one judge of honour, and this is himself. Decisions you make and how these decisions are carried out are a reflection of whom you truly are. You cannot hide from yourself.

Compassion 仁
Through intense training the Samurai becomes quick & strong. He is not as other men. He develops a power that must be used for the good of all. He has compassion. He helps his fellow man at every opportunity. If an opportunity does not arise, he goes out of his way to find one.

Complete Sincerity 誠
When a Samurai has said that he will perform an action, it is as good as done. Nothing will stop him from completing what he has said he will do. He does not have to “give his word”. He does not have to “promise”. Speaking and doing are the same action.

Duty & Loyalty　忠
Having done some “thing” or said some “thing”, he owns that “thing”. He is responsible for it, and all the consequences that follow. A Samurai is immensely loyal to all those in his care. To those he is responsible for, he remains fiercely true.

You may consider taking on this code as your own. I say do it but only because it’s been usefully to me. Even if you’re not considering the way of the warrior I suggest you do your best to live by a code of ethics weather it be completely original or adopted from one already in existence. It’s an invaluable tool.

Thank you for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: Honor
by: Atreyu
Available on:

“Build up your confidence so you can be on top for once” – Mr. Big

This is post #9 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Establishing your Standards of Living can be as easy or as hard as you decide to make it. I personally feel that it’s a natural process of self examination leading to a greater knowledge of what matters most to you. Once you know what’s important in your life it becomes easier to get it. Here are five tips that I found to be useful while developing my own Standards of Living.

1. It’s All About Making Life Easier.
   With a clear set of standards you have  a better understanding of what is important to you and why. Knowing this makes all of life’s decisions easier not only because you can recognize when something is right for you, but also when it’s not.
2. Standards Are Streamlined.
   Bing firm in what matters most to you means you’re able to eliminate everything else. The last thing that any of us needs is more baggage be it physical, mental or emotional. Know what fits and get rid of the rest.
3. Find What Works.
   When figuring out just who you are it helps to take a look at your past successes. Think of some of the best moments of your life. What was happening? What did you do to make it happen? One important thing to remember about success is that it can be repeated. Break down some of your successes, take a look at what you were doing and then compare notes. You’ll start to see a pattern emerge. This pattern is your personal formula for success. Once you have that you’ll be able to replicate it and apply it to your life going forward. Make the elements of your personal success formula an absolute standard in your life and accept nothing less. You will see that success again.
4. Know Where You Want to Go.
   One of the great things about this world is that anything is possible. Any one of us is capable of anything we can imagine. All that we need is a healthy dose of determination and effort. When you’re establishing your standards, try to consider where you want to go in life. You don’t have to think of every possible scenario, but have an idea of where you’re headed. Give yourself a clear vision of what you want your life to be and then thrust yourself onto that path. Through your will and determination and by accepting nothing less that the best for yourself you will see your goals and dreams realized.
5. Make Sure Your Standards Are Your Own.
   With all of the information constantly streaming in to our brains its easy to take on others wants and desires as our own. This occurs naturally by way of our desire for acceptance. When we strip our lives down to the essentials however we see that the only constant thing in our lives is us. When all is said and done the only people that we will have to answer to is ourselves. By making sure that all we do is what is right in our own minds and not just someone else’s we will never have a need to lower our standards. Live by your own standards and no one else’s

These are just a few of the things you can do to start establishing your standards. Just keep in mind that it is all a very personal process and that you need to do what is best for you. Once you get yourself set though, there’s not going to be any stopping you.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: To Be With You
by: Mr. Big
Available on:

“You’re gettin’ tired of starin’ at the same four walls” – Glen Frey

This is post #6 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Clutter clutter everywhere and not a space to think

When I was developing my personal standards of living one of the first areas I thought about was my physical surroundings. I needed to establish what was going to be acceptable in my space and what wasn’t. For a long time I had been wanting to eliminate all of the junk in my life but had been putting it off, probably because of the work it was going to take to make it happen.  Clutter had invaded my life on all levels like the ninja that it is and it was hard to know where to start when trying to fix the situation. I was, as they say, up to my balls in jugglers but setting my standards was what gave me a clear starting point. In establishing what I wanted my surroundings to be and  fully committing myself to that vision, I was quickly able to look at my space objectively and see what didn’t fit.  Here is what I adopted as the set of standards for my physical surroundings:

“I live in a clean minimalist environment. I do not accept clutter or disarray of my living space. Anything brought into my space must be of significant purpose and function. There is no room for poor design, inoperable objects, poorly functioning items or clutter of any kind. I am constantly purging in order to rid myself of things that hold no purpose in my world. I surround myself with beauty and functionality which improves my life and inspires my creativity”

Keep in mind that at the time I didn’t yet live in a clean minimalist environment. When writing your standards however, it is always best to write them as if you’re already where you want to be, even if you’re still working on it.

So for me, my standards made it easy to see my best course of action. I knew that if an item didn’t work well , didn’t work at all or had no actual purpose or use, it was out.  This automatically weeded out most of what I didn’t need. The stacks of old magazines, out. The lamp that I’d been meaning to re-wire, gone. The basement full of things I never used, purged. Anything that was left had to pass the beauty and functionality test. I’m a huge sucker for modern design so when I took another look around I started eliminating the things that didn’t have enough style to fit in my ideal space.

Ahh, sweet liberty.

Once I started to clear things out my space it felt a little empty. Ok, it was empty. Before long though, I realized that I didn’t really miss the things that were gone. Possessions are not what make us who we are so their absence really has no bearing on our lives. I can tell you that it’s really liberating when you start to get rid of all the things that have been weighing you down for so long. When you see all of the space that you’ve acquired physically and mentally you start to have a clearer vision of what is important in your life. When everything that doesn’t meet your standards is eliminated it opens up a world of new possibilities.

From that point forward all that I had to do was make sure that any new item that I brought into my space fit in with my standards. Knowing what I did and didn’t want made my life much easier. Now if it doesn’t look the way I want it to or do the things I need it to, it has no place in my place. The clutter ninjas are a crafty bunch and they are always trying to find new ways to mount a sneak attack (usually via the inside of an envelope) but now that I can see them so clearly they are often and easily thwarted.

There are lots of resources online for eliminating clutter. If you like things clean and simple like I do may I recommend the following:

• mnmlist.com:  A great site run by Leo Baubata of Zen Habits.
• simple.organized.life: The name says it all.
• moreminimal.com: All about seeking the essential.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.

-JB

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Today’s Music: You Belong to the City

by: Glen Frey

NOT, surprisingly enough, available on iTunes.