“No one, no one, no one ever is to blame” – Howard Jones

This is post #18 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Today I had a long talk with one of my friends who’s an actor. She went to an audition that she was really excited for and tanked. This left her questioning the idea even continuing as an actor. During the conversation I asked her what it was that she felt has kept her from being successful thus far. She proceeded to go on a bit of a rant blaming different people or various situations for her lack of success. When I mentioned that she was running out of fingers to point she stopped, sat quietly for a minute and had an epiphany. At that moment she realized that she had been spending all of her time blaming everyone else for what she perceived as failures instead of putting the blame squarely where it belonged… on her.

This is something that we all end up doing at some point. Things take a negative turn and we immediately look around the room to see where we can throw the blame. Very rarely do we take responsibility for our own failure or even our own success for that matter. The simple fact of life is this, only we are responsible for what happens to us.

It is up to us to be the best that we can be for ourselves. I have set my standards for myself pretty high. Some people would say that the higher they’re set, the better my chances for falling short. I know that won’t happen though because I will not accept anything less than the best me I can be. Nothing Less. I will not settle, I will not compromise and I will not apologize.

Once my friend starts taking on that same responsibility for herself she will succeed. Up to now she’s been satisfied to try a little and if it didn’t work out she’d make excuses as to why. She even has a fear of success that keeps her from achieving her greatness. I reminded her of my 3 part series on failure (fear of success is part 3)that I wrote earlier this month. I told her to go back and look at it again. She has an amazing ability as an actor to move people with her performances. It’s a rare ability and I’ve seen her do it many times. Quitting what she’s doing is not the answer. She just needs to take responsibility for herself. That’s all any of us need to do.

Once we stop blaming outside factors for our current position in life we’ll see just how quickly it can change. Until then, remember that it’s not polite to point.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: No One Is To Blame
By: Howard Jones
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