“We are the people in your neighborhood” – Sesame Street Gang
It’s hump day! This is post #15 in my quest for 30 in 30.
Yesterday I wrote about the importance of having your own standards so that you aren’t doomed to live by someone else’s. Well, what do you do when your standards are set but they clash with the other people in your life? There are many factors to be considered when assessing your relationships with other people. Who are they to you? How long have you known them? Is there any differences of opinion? What do they bring to your table? The answers to these questions all contribute to how you’re going to interact with this person going forward so it’s a good idea to take an honest look at the people in your life. I’ve said before that it’s important to set your standards high and to never compromise. Well, this is one of the hardest areas to do that in. There are different people in your life for different reasons. Some you have to get along with and others you don’t. Let’s take a look at some of the people you may encounter and some of the ways to deal with the one’s who don’t necessarily fit well.
The lifer.
This is a friend that you have known since you were children. You’ve been through much together in your lives. The two of you are always there for one another and you support each other even if you don’t always agree with one another. You know you have each other’s backs.
The Consistent.
This is a friend that, while you haven’t known them forever, is pretty integrated into your life. You are always in touch and you know what’s up in each others lives. You look out for one another and consider each other to be trusted friends.
The Work Pal.
This might be someone that you see every day at work but don’t really have any interaction outside of the 9 to 5. You like each other and usually help each other to get through the day.
The “What’s your name again?”.
This is someone you may run into from time to time. Maybe you live in the same neighborhood and often cross paths in the grocery store. Or, maybe your kids go to the same school and you’ve had idle chit chat but nothing of significance.
The Stranger.
Not just a really good Billy Joel song, the name stranger kind of speaks for its self. You may be in line in the store or might be at the same party. This is someone you have no connection to but are forced into a social situation regardless.
These are just examples of the relationships you may have with various people in your day to day life. Now what happens when the personalities of the people on this list clash with the standards you’ve set for yourself? There are several ways to handle this type of scenario and for the most part which one you use will vary from person to person. The following list is of possible approaches to ending your differences.
Express Yourself.
This involves letting the “offending” parties know that you don’t agree with what they’re saying or doing. It’s as simple as that. You don’t like it and you’re not going to sit idly by without at least speaking your mind.
This is a good tactic to use with: The Lifer, The Consistent and The Work Pal. Depending on your level of involvement with The “What’s your name again?” you may be able to use it there too. The thing to remember with that one is that you may not know them well enough to give your opinion of them without offending them.
Strictly Business.
This tactic is all about limiting your interaction with those you don’t agree with. In some cases you might not be able to avoid contact with them and speaking your mind is going to strain the relationship making it awkward. This is the route to take with these people.
Use this strategy with: The Work Pal and The “What’s your name again?”.
Dodge Ball.
Sometime it’s hard to accept people for who they are. When this is the case try to avoid them. If you don’t absolutely have to be around them then find a way to not be.
Effective with: The Work Pal and The “What’s your name again?” and The Stranger.
Cut ‘Em Off.
Some times there is just no way to work with certain people around you. The two of you just do not agree or there is absolutely no need for you to interact. In this case it’s best just to work them out of the picture all together.
Best used with: The Stranger and if absolutely necessary, The “What’s your name again?”.
At times it can be hard to figure out just which tactic to use with some of the people in your life. Usually the people who are closest to you get the most consideration but sometimes you have to really assess the relationship and answer some of those tougher questions. Especially the question of “What do they bring to your table?”. Since having higher standards is all about living the life you want to live it’s important that the people you surround yourself with are contributing to that end.
The one area that this article doesn’t cover is how to interact with those people that you have no choice but to have in your life, your family. I think that’s a whole other topic in itself and I’ll write about it soon.
On a final note, I had a friend that had an absolute refusal to have anyone who wasn’t nice in her life. If you were mean to her, anyone she knew or even if she saw that you were unkind to someone on the street, you had no place in her world what so ever. There was no compromising this point with her. The friends she did have were still many and we all loved and respected her completely because we knew what she believed and that she wouldn’t accept anything less. She was an inspiration in that respect.
Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: People In Your Neighborhood
by: Sesame Street Chorus
Available on:
